What's the secret to amazing relationships?
Why do some people adore spending time with you?
What separates those folk who you can't wait to see from those you wish you could avoid?
In a relationship, emotions matter - maybe even more than anything else does. There's a lot I could say about that, but Maya Angelou said it best:
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Yes, this hold true even for highly intellectual people. They have a different view of what makes them happy - a bouquet of roses might not cut it - but the principle is the same.
The strength of your relationships comes down to the quality of the emotion. People like you if you make them feel good.
This is the danger in toxic behaviours and attitudes. No one would blame you for occasionally getting angry or needing to vent. If this is all you do, though, then watch out. If your presence makes people miserable, stressed or anxious, they'll probably work hard to avoid you.
You might not be lonely if you do this. Some people like the drama of feeling down. These usually aren't great people to spend time with, though.
On the other hand, if your presence makes people relaxed and happy, then you're in a good place. If you inspire, motivate and challenge them, then you'll attract only amazing people into your life.
This isn't anything about sending positive vibes into the universe. It's simple psychology. Most successful people spent time to find people like this. Most people who just want to blame everyone else hate being reminded to grow.
Without even trying, you drive away energy vampires and welcome heroes into your social circle.
And it's a virtuous circle. The more you cultivate this attitude, the stronger this effect becomes.
So, how can self-hypnosis help with this?
You first think about what you want. Do you want to surround yourself with people who are courteous?
Chances are that you've had conversations that resonated with you. Think about what happened and, importantly, how it felt.
If you can't think of a conversation like this, then enter a trance and imagine one. Make it as detailed as possible. Notice what emotions shift as you do this.
Before you step outside, go into a trance and reactivate this mental state. After a conversation, go into a trance and think about what worked (and what didn't).
There's no need to force anything. In fact, it's better if you don't. Give it time and you'll find yourself having more of the right conversations.
In time, your social group will transform itself. People close to you will explore more of what you want. The right sort of people will fight for their place in your group. Slowly but surely, your relationships will reinvent themselves.
And with that, you become a whole new person.